Champions League draw – live
11.45am: Right, that’s yer lot. Here’s all the ties involving British and Irish teams, to be played over two legs on 9/10 and 23/24 August, with the 16 victorious teams joining the 16 automatic qualifiers for the group stage, starting in September.
Artmedia/Celtic v Partizen Belgrade or Sheriff Shelbourne/Steaua Bucharest v RosenborgManchester United v Debrecen/ Hajduk SplitEverton v VillarealFBK Kaunas/Liverpool v KF Tirana/Cska Sofia Anorthosis/Trabzonspor v Rangers
11.40am: “Everton would take Liverpool now? I don’t think so,” says Matthew O’Connell. “Strategy for beating Villareal: put a Fresian between the sticks and present Forlán with a banjo before kick-off.”
11.37am: David Voss is back, but he’s not angry. “No worries about the lack of Black Prada Bag Mission Impossible Stefan Dennis,” he says. “He always stuck me as a poor man’s Hoff anyway.”
11.35am: “I think David Moyes’ might be wishing he had drawn Black Prada Bag Mission Impossible Liverpool. Everton will get humped by Villareal,” writes Jack McGill. Villareal got to the semi-finals of the Uefa Cup last season, a tournament that concluded around the same time that Everton were getting mullered 7-0 by Arsenal.
11.29am: “Well, that wasn’t very exciting, was it?” harrumphs Tom Dawkins, although I beg to differ. If the sight of two Uefa officials fondling balls in a big glass bowl doesn’t get your juices flowing, I don’t know what will. Which reminds me of a good gag. Question: What has 99 balls and makes old women sweat?Answer: Bingo.
11.25am: My guess is that Everton would take Liverpool now. Their fans will get a trip to Spain, but they’ve got the hardest draw of all the British teams. Irish side Shelbourne will fancy their chances of beating Rosenborg if they can win away against Steau Bucharest next week, having held them at home on Tuesday.
11.20am Apologies to David Voss, but I’ve had to get rid of Stefan Dennis as he was interfering with the flow Best Prada Outlet In Milan of the draw. So, Everton and Liverpool managed to avoid each other, but only by the skin of their teeth. It’s bad news for Nigel Cubbon, who had “wagered two whole pounds at 10/1 with William Hill’s that there will Black Leather Prada Milano Purse be a Merseyside derby.” You were robbed Nigel – it was a 14/1 shot.
FC Basel v Werder Bremen Artmedia/Celtic (some hope) v Partizen Belgrade or SheriffShakhtar Donetsk v InternazionaleShelbourne/Steaua Bucharest v RosenborgManchester United v Debrecen/ Hajduk SplitMalmo/Maccabi Haifa v Dynamo Kiev/ThunEverton v VillarealFBK Kaunas/Liverpool v KF Tirana/Cska SofiaSporting Lisbon v UdineseValerenga/Haka v BrugesDudelanga/Rapid Vienna v Lokomotiv MoscowAnderlecht/Neftchi v Slavia Prague Anorthosis/Trabzonspor v Rangers Dinamo Tbilisi/Brondby v AjaxReal Betis v MonacoWisla Krakov v Panathinaikos
11.04am: Two menwearing suits and spectacles are giving a dizzying array of complicated instructions involving balls, pots and automatically switching corresponding seeds from match one and two. I have Black Leather Prada Milano Purse not got the foggiest idea what they’re on about, so I’ll just post up the pairings as they happen.
10.58am: I can barely contain myself. And neither can David Voss. “Any chance of providing further over-by-over, minute-by-minute or ball-by-ball coverage of any (and I mean any) other sporting event going on today to keep me entertained?” he asks. “I finish my job here next Thursday and am fully winding down – I even reviewed the OBO’s of the 2003 cricket World Cup yesterday. Either Authentic Prada Clothing that or post a picture of Angus Young out of AC/DC at the top of the report – it’d be much appreciated.”
Sorry David, I can’t find the Aussie fret-fondler at such short notice, but I hope this picture of Stefan Dennis Black Prada Bag With Gold Hardware from Neighbours will suffice instead.
10.56am: In Nyon, a man in a suit is putting some glass bowls on a table in front of a big clock. He might actually have a use for his glass bowls, as that’s where the draw is, not in Lyon. Only five minutes to go.
10.53am: “Erm, aren’t Chelsea in the seeded part of the draw then? Shome mishtake shurely?” writes Ralph Brown, patronisingly. So patronisingly that he’s going to feel a total pillock when he realises that this draw is for the third qualifying round of the Champions League, which Chelsea won’t be playing in … because they’ve already qualified for the group stages by winning the Premiership last season. Honestly, there’s always one.
10.51am: In the Sky Sports News studio, Gordon McQueen and Lou Macari are talking about Rio Ferdinand’s greediness and how it wasn’t like that in their day. Gah!
10.50am: In Lyon, a man in a suit Authentic Prada Leather Handbag is putting some glass bowls on a table in front of Alex Pradas Quiles a big clock. Only 10 minutes to go.
How it all works: The 14 winners from this month’s second qualifying round (ie not Celtic) will link up with the 18 sides entering at this stage. In the third qualifying round, clubs from the same association cannot be drawn together. However, the one exception is holders Liverpool FC, who have special dispensation to play in this season’s competition and could, Authentic Prada Bags For Sale Philippines therefore, face neighbours Everton. It’s a long shot, but Everton boss David Moyes is convinced there’s a conspiracy afoot and won’t be a bit surprised if his side are drawn against Liverpool. He’d never be that lucky, would he?
Seeded teams: Kaunas/ Liverpool , Man Utd, Internazionale, Panathinaikos prada saffiano, Artmedia Bratislava/ Celtic , Villarreal, Sporting Lisbon, Monaco, Ajax, Club Bruges, Anderlecht/Neftchi, Rangers, Dynamo Kiev/Thun, Werder Bremen, Rabotnicki/Lokomotiv Moscow, Rosenborg.
Unseeded teams: Slavia Prague, Real Betis, Basle, Wisla Krakow, Udinese, Partizan Belgrade/Sheriff Tiraspol, Shakhtar Donetsk, Malmo/Maccabi Haifa, Everton, Shelbourne/Steaua Bucharest, Dinamo Tbilisi/Brondby, Dudelange/Rapid Vienna, Tirana v CSKA Sofia, Debreceni/Hajduk Split, Anorthosis Famagusta/Trabzonspor, Valerenga/Haka.